1. |
Spells
07:35
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I’ll sing an incantation
to call you in the flesh
I’ll whisper words
to will you here
and bind you to my breast
Heart bland and heavy
feet brand new
walking over
under-water paths
that lead me back to you
How MAGIC you are
when you turn on your eyes
I have never been so softly summarized
I believe things happen
as they should
to a grand degree
I said to you
as you peered through
the darkness at me
And I thought
that in the dark
I wouldn’t see your eyes
but they found and shined back at mine in the night
How still and clear the sky looked down
how painfully aware
we were on the ground
WHEN IM FLOATING
AWAY FROM THE EARTH
ON THE MUSE
OR SOMETHING WORSE
I REACH OUT, AND AROUND
FOR SOMETHING TO
HOLD ME DOWN
AND I FILL MY MOUTH
‘TILL IT HURTS
I’ll sing an incantation
to call you in the flesh
I’ll whisper words
to will you here
and bind you to my breast
Heart full and looming
eyes brand new
burning bright
over every sight
that I want to share
with you
How PAINFUL you are when you turn off your eyes
I have never seen such a light so quickly disguised
It’s like we work together but for the circumstances
like how
you control the weather that’s how you curtail
my advances
Raven calls
the sky falls down
flown in from far and wide to sow you in the ground
WHEN TOGETHER WE FLOAT
FROM THE EARTH
ITS ALMOST AS IF NOTHING HAS EVER HURT
WE WERE WATCHED
AND WE WERE SEEN
BY AN OWL AND AN EAGLE
AND NO-ONE IN BETWEEN
I’ll sing an incantation
to call you with my best
I’ll whisper words
to will you here
for refuge and for rest
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2. |
Fears
08:09
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I am terrified
I think I know how the pain builds up
how far away isn’t far enough
I confuse what I’ve seen and touched
I think I know how the pain builds up
I am terrified
I thought I knew we said goodbye
still somehow I feel
I haven’t left your eye
What an awful thing to realize
false goodbyes under watchful eyes
I am terrified
I am writing circles
to relieve these years
so they may be freed on other human ears
still somehow, somewhere
I hope you share my fears
I am writing circles
to release these years
I am terrified
I think I know how the pain gets worse
softens and deepens at the point its inert
You blame me while I do your DIRTY WORK
I think I know how the pain gets worse
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3. |
Motions
04:38
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In my mind and heart the sun sets in your hair
and I drink in every moment of it glowing there
I’m a vessel forth through time
in my wake can’t see a cause
Going forth through bliss and blind
without possessive pause
I go forth toward your light
you guide me in the dark
I don’t mind wrong from right
the point is I’ve embarked
In my mind and heart your breath controls the wind
with each movement of your lungs
storms end and begin
I’m a veil that’s caught and can’t resist
The gale in all its force
that’s caught me in its midst
I am moving in your light
I’m held fast in your dark
I won’t fuss or fight
I know I bear your mark
In my mind and heart your fingers rule the tides
With each movement of your digits
waves roll front to side
In your unmarked country I learn to flow and fly
You above, below, among me, you who heard my cry
I am burning in your light
I’m healing in your dark
I won’t stagnate in respite
if you will not remark
On rules and regulations
that foul finality
Forgoing our elations
the stilling of the sea
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4. |
Hopes
06:10
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Clouds pass and open closes
fold me in to your repose
if you can stand my fear
It is frightening to be knowing
there is darkness in our glowing
loneliness as we are near
What I ask, are the right reasons
more than just a lonely season
more than a warmer bed
How I ask while doubting something
now I beg you, while the one thing
hangs over my head
Feeling golden from the summer
knowing more than times we hummed or hawed
at our beating breast
Now we know what hearts are asking
we move forward without grasping
without the greedy guess
If you would take the blue from the sky
and bring it to the shore
I wont ask you why, but I won’t know what for
Not the fear that pulls us closer
or the nearness we impose
or anything so unjust
But just the way we move together
everything that makes us better
biggest, bravest trust
Not a promise for our lives
or anything so contrived
just hope that sings long
Rings bright and clear
comes to you to kiss your ear
just a lovely song
If you could see the world through my eyes
there would be nothing left to realize
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5. |
Cycles
04:34
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Somewhere deeply I believe
I must give life to be free
my blood yearns to flow
in another
every cell in search;
how to mother
My blood runs circles
round the bends of my heart
Circles round my body and flings me apart
My flesh grows circles
round the bends of my bones
The bends and curves of the bones that feel so alone
Tell me to be careful
tell me to be cautious
Tell me to be wary
tell me to be warned
tell me that I should watch where I roam
Take up rent
inside your own soul
with the sense
you will be cold
make haste when you do leave
don’t you let them
see you grieve
Tell me tell me tell me tell me…
Somewhere darkly I believe
best for them is best for me
to exist for someone else
is a woman’s need
Let yourself run circles round the bends of your thoughts
in the cycle
only you have wrought
Your own blood runs circles round the bends
of your heart
your own blood
will never tear you apart
Tell me to be careful
tell me to be cautious
Tell me to be wary
tell me to be warned
tell me that I should not walk alone
Look that demon in the face
offer it a warm embrace
you will grow
with greatest grace
once you find
it has a place
Tell me tell me tell me tell me…
To exist for someone small
or someone big
or someone wise
to be held in another's eyes
to be held in another's eyes
We will be revered by those who knew us best
I cannot be held
to the light
by one I held to my breast
loved by one
beloved to all
and cheating death
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6. |
Moon
04:06
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Even when the sky is dark above the sea
the blue glows through and speaks to me
and if I round the bow of the ship
the moon will reach down and stir my lips
And I’ll be moved to acknowledge
the unending grace
which shapes the mountains
and the lines of my face
I pray that I may know that her light shines in me
as we float and we flow with the changing sea
I round the corner cold
and thinking of her light
the moon does hold me bold and full
wrapped up in her night
These glimpses guide me like a star
the depths of me do stir
I reach out far and grasp
at what I had thought to be sure
but love that’s gone is love that’s changed
and freedom’s in that shift
the best of what was still remains
the everlasting gift
I round the corner cold
and thinking of her light
the moon does hold me bold and full
wrapped up in her night
I round the corner cold
and thinking of her light
Even when the sky is dark above the sea
the Moon glows through and speaks to me
And if I round the corner cold
and thinking of her light
the moon will hold me bold and full
wrapped up in her night
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7. |
The Yard
02:01
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We’re still there, standing
in the yard
Chasing chickens
Counting cards
Time trips up
and loops right back
I’m talking, ticking
Keeping track
I thought you lovely
in a dirty toque
and now we’re lovers
twice removed
I thought wrong
but I struck deeply right
the day, the evening
the final night
I heard you mutter
through sticky lips
clear as your glowing cigarette
I hear you now
through clouds of time
beloved mumbler
never mine
Time loops up
and clicks the track
I wait, abate
I’m holding back
I love you, lonely
casting spells
of ancient ships
on swirling swells
I take your hand
across the water
but steps to swim
so often falter
We’re still here, standing
in the yard
my tongue is tight
the task is hard
Time winds up and
slaps me back
I’m clasping, grasping
to keep track
We’re forever standing
in the yard
we chase each other
breathing hard
Time holds back
that soft attack
we’re talking, laughing
losing track
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8. |
Light the Fire
04:02
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I will light the fire, if you bring the wood
I will do what you think I should
I will do the dishes, if you fill the pail
I will try and try, and fail
I will think up dinner
if you think of me
If you listen honestly
I wish I had my permission
to position myself
where contrition bends to mental health
Or my disposition
was one of the kind
of a single-vision-driven mind
I will crack the kindling
if you hear my claim
that nothing breaks apart in shame
I will walk the dog, like I can walk the line
if you will value all my time
I might bear more weight
if you might bare your soul
in terms of what I need to know
I wish I had ammunition
to defend myself
from every demon in our living hell
Still I ask permission
though there is no sign
these demons are even mine
I will mind the birds
I will collect their eggs
I’ll hold the power of what they’ve made
And if we make nothing, what do we call us
where do I put my trust?
We had better take up heart, before we both get broke
or I’ll regret how fast I spoke
I will put out that fire I stoked
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9. |
Elbow River
04:58
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I will stand in the river, I will wade in past my knees
I will grab it by the neck
and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze
I don’t know who this beast is, or why its fur is wet
or why I am not filled with regret
The magic of the summer calls me to the city streets
I dry my ankles and I bare my teeth
but I do not dare repeat
I will swim in the river, once I’ve let the body go
how quickly it’s gone in the flow
I will feel whole in the water
‘till I look to the other shore
to see the Wolf that will demand even more
The heat of the summer calls me to the city streets
my legs are dry above my aching feet
but where is there relief
I will walk out from the water
to leave behind an empty shell
of the Wolf that turned and writhed and fought so well
I’ll turn back with a flicker
of a thought at wasted life
but the pelt is filthy and I have no knife
The weight of all my woe drives me into people’s eyes
they see my skin and they hear my sighs
but all of it is lies
I’ll go back to the river, a bend in it like a bow
my friends don’t ask what they don’t want to know
The Wolf is on the bank
I am shocked when it wakes
a stranger helps to drive it away
The magic of the summer calls me to the city blocks
I feel the sun, and I don’t mind to walk
and no one here is shocked
At how the heat of the summer
breaks you down and cuts you up
you do whatever makes you feel less stuck
good and evil run amok
(I will go back to the river)
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10. |
Glowing Grieving Garbage
06:23
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The Holy Pillars of White Poplar
are leaning out into the evening
I widen my stance
and count on my chance,
and find myself truly believing
I could pretend
to lovers and friends
that I’m not Glowing
while I am Grieving
I could pretend
to lovers and friends
but who would be worth deceiving?
I am Glowing and I am Grieving
Big big power and big big pain
big big fortune and big big blame
big big pleasure
and big big shame
big big disdain
We are looking for the sunshine
we are looking to the sky
we are looking to the birds and bees to show us how to fly
We are wanting a vacation
we are looking to relax
we are looking for some safety but that won’t make us feel trapped
I don’t care so much for freedom
except for how it lets me run
out and forward;
mostly back and in
to hide from everyone
Big big mind at big big cost
big big gift at big big loss
big big ocean big big cross
big big Albatross
We are looking for a promise
we are looking for a lie
we are looking for some happiness to last us our whole lives
We are humming through the chorus
we are searching for the tune
we are looking for the music
in the joy that’s gone so soon
I don’t care so much for music
except for how it drowns my words
shouting them across your
doorway to you
oh, they sound absurd
These sentiments are garbage all these words are precious trash
made of junk and made of crap and never made to last
Big big fire in big big frame
big big picture inside the flame
big big heat is no small game
time to build again
We are looking for the answer
we are looking with our thighs
we are knowing that the morning comes, and trying not to cry
I don’t care much for this body
except for how it gets me lost
throw it back and forth across the lines, get high at any cost
This host is made of garbage
this soul is precious trash
made of junk and made of crap and never made to last
just the state of everything once enough time has passed
Big big power and big big pain
big big fortune
and big big blame
big big pleasure
and big big shame
big big refrain
The Holy Pillars of White Poplar
are leaning out into the evening
I widen my stance
and count on my chance
and find myself truly believing
I could pretend
to lovers and friends
I’m not Glowing
while I am Grieving
I could pretend
to lovers and friends
but who
would be worth deceiving?
I am glowing and I am grieving
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11. |
Backwards River
07:58
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A dark cabin in the winter woods
Once again I plan to say “you should”
But that’s business I don’t like
so I turn the other cheek
But winter wears on, we’re getting weak
My mother’s there caring for a child
who is sparse beloved and often beguiled
I feel like warning to everyone I see
I blame their sin when I don’t feel free
Don’t get in, that river runs backwards
climbs up and up and only gets faster
don’t get in though the clarity is inviting
if the cold doesn’t kill you, you’ll die fighting
A blank woman clings to your shores
she doesn’t see how deeply she’s ignored
for what you see reflected in the glass
you’re hustling, hustling backwards to the past
Don’t get in, that river runs backwards
climbs up and up and only gets faster
don’t get in though the clarity is inviting
if the cold doesn’t kill you, you’ll die fighting
I am not your compass
I am not your resource
I am just reflections of the human force
I love your goodness
I will not reflect any other shadow from your eyes
I am not your demise
The woods are brighter when I dream again
I witch the water saying to my friend
that dreams are where I would rather be
where the only eyes that watch belong to me
Don’t get in, that river runs backwards
climbs up and up and only gets faster
don’t get in though the clarity is inviting
if the cold doesn’t kill you, you’ll die fighting
I am not your compass
I am not your reward
I am just reflections moving forward
I love your goodness
what beats inside your chest
beats the same here inside me
don’t you know we are free
don’t you know you are me
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12. |
Lyin' Lion
05:39
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Walking down the street I can still feel the weight of your head as you sleep, pressed into my shoulder
I cave to the grief, and the fire that smouldered in me
every time that we dared to bare teeth
we smilled to uncover all the beauty that we are
when we turn up our cheeks at each other
Pressed in and pressed under
broke down, and in wonder
at everything found when we gave ourselves up
curling and bending and living and sending out roots
while we shiver and tingle to touch
We reached to disrobe all the pain and the woes
that get stuck in our skin and our clothes
You're a lion
a little lion
you are lyin’
don’t lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, lie to me
I am feeling the fear
as it rises in me
still somehow it is deep as the dark of the sea
“Like the depths”
you had quipped
as you reached for my lips
you were quick
for her tides do run inside me
in my hair and my nails and behind all my veils
are the waves that crash
and retract rhythmically
I am allowing the tears
I look back through the years
to find all that is near is a dormant tree branch
we use half our hand
to take what we can
and past all of our plans
we are brought back against
the dark side year tree trunk
is sleeping
seems defunct
but deep inside
greenness is gleaming
You're a lion
a little lion
you are lyin’
Don‘t lie to me x5
And riding over tracks
I can whisper your name
over clacks and the whirr
of the distances gained
I am boldened and sure
I’m in the right frame
You’ll ask me again
you’ll pass me the blame
We edged to the sides and yet still we heard
the rush and the hiss and the crack of the hurt
And bumping down the road
I can mutter the nonsense
syllables for me
that you coined
without conscience
I’m sweet
let it be
not like you
in your flawed sense
I took to the road but it wasn’t to flee
you were lyin’
you were lyin’
I still don't know why
you lied to me
And riding underground
I will still hear the tune
of your words
hollow sounds
that had stirred up my courage
the questions abound
from the pain as it flourishes
blooming from fissures that open deep down
Glinting and grey
like the city tracks know
we must snake
as we rake through the flow
as it goes
crash past the forms
as they grow
You're a lion
a little lion
you are lyin’
don’t lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, lie to me (x2)
There’s no need
to lie to me
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13. |
Carriage Bell
07:33
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Be sweet
I can’t afford a carriage
I had a dream
that you were me
except we just switched hands and not bodies
I went to work your job
but I was calm
because I’d felt your hands on me like a balm
relieving all my aches in one
I watched your face
as I appeared
I could not read there what I’d feared
You asked to know so I turned my back
so you could fold me in and hold me there intact
I don’t always swear
I’ve never danced this step
but oh we’re dancing now
we’ll live to dance it yet
what I mean to say
is something feels brand new
when I ring that bell that hangs there
inside you
I felt dizzy
with a false remorse
as if I hadn’t met you
at the source
as if you didn’t wait
and I couldn’t try
and you had had to ask me softly not to cry
but Awake you led me down some secret lane
I lost my breath
with you it must remain
those sovereign sights
a flight forthwith
to follow
and you held me ’til
I could not hold my sorrow
I don’t always moan
at the making of the morning
I don’t always
swallow my words
as they are forming
whether the darkening dusk
or in the breaking day
in that silhouette sun
I’ve got something to say
I’ll meet you
where we break apart
just to show you
my bitter salt-worn heart
and you’ll unfold yours
like a fern
and if we’re lucky
we’ll catch fire and burn
and burn, and burn, and burn
I don’t always weep
at the winter coming
I don’t always sing out loud to keep from humming
whether a song in my heart
or one I’ve already sung
it’s the spring of something
something’s just begun
what I mean to say
is something feels brand new
when I ring that bell
that hangs there
inside you
I can’t afford
I can’t afford
I can’t afford a carriage
But you’ll look sweet
upon the seat
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Mars Gabriola, British Columbia
Mars is an experimental folk singer, songwriter, and harpist currently living and working on the traditional ancestral lands of the Snuneymuxw people. Using voice, harp, loops, and her imagination, Mars strives to create a dreamlike state in which to tell soothing stories and bring nightmarish shadows into the light. Mars has created one full-length album project, entitled Music for the Moon. ... more
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